About Me.

An update on the girl born in December.

So since my last post this is what's new with me:

I am now teaching little Year 2's! I am so excited about teaching them and love it! I think I have found my niche of students! They are cute listeners and love their teacher really no matter what! We have a lot of fun. At the moment though we are focusing on making sure we follow instructions quickly and finish activities on time.

Late last year we bought a 2nd hand car from a dealership which we drove down to South Australia in. It was quite wonderful! We loved the trip and had a great adventure. We have also made a mini road trip down to Coffs Harbour, NSW for Easter this year.

Our lovely little nephew was born on Christmas Eve! He is a December baby like me! I'm glad to share the week with him! Louis is his name and he is adorable! He visited after Easter with his parents, uncle and Ma-Ma.

On a sad note...

hmm I hesitate to share this but it is now part of who I am and I want to spread awareness. It has been a struggle this weekend with Mother's day happening as I have recently recovered from an ectopic pregnancy. I discovered I was pregnant in March. The very next day I found myself in ER due to bleeding. I was declared a threatened miscarry. I was only 4 weeks pregnant at this stage. It was too early to see much on a scan so they waited two weeks. My first and second scan (a week apart) showed nothing in the womb. There appeared to be a mass on my left ovary. I was then declared to have an ectopic. It was an emotional rollercoaster! For the first week I knew that I was pregnant I was overjoyed but so worried as no woman wants to end up in ER! I had already begun to adjust to the pregnancy symptoms which I was getting and altering my lifestyle. After all this was an unexpected pregnancy. When I found out I had an ectopic I was devastated. I made the choice to let everyone know what was happening on the 30th April through Facebook. I wanted to openly grieve as for me it is the best way to process grief. Everyone was very supportive and many prayed. God brought me so many blessings despite what was happening. In all honesty the worst that happened was losing a baby. My health declined only slightly. They had caught it so early.
So the facts are these:
- I had an ectopic on my left side
-My pregnancy hormone (Hcg) was dropping naturally
-I was put initially on a plan to wait and see
-When my Hcg plateaued for a couple of days I needed further treatment
-I opted for a drug called Methotrexate.
-This is a chemo drug.
-I only needed one dose
- I am now fully recovered.
-I can not fall pregnant for the next 5 months, to protect the babies
-I am sad and confused as to why it happened
-I am thankful I did not need surgery and only needed one dose.
-I was terrified throughout the whole experience!
-It has not deterred me from wanting to have children in the future.

I share this all so ectopic pregnancy does not become a taboo subject. I kept saying to people: If anyone else died in my family everyone would know! So why not let everyone know about the little one I lost?!
Nathan was a huge support throughout it all. He was distraught about losing our little one but loves me all the same. We named out little one Jamie.
I am not ashamed for this happening. It was not anyone's fault, it is part of life. I am confused as to why it happened because in God's word it says:
 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
However, perhaps God worked the good so that I could keep my ovary and tube in tact and continue to have pregnancies from either ovary in the future. He kept me from extreme pain and risk of infection. 
I do not wish this experience on anyone. But if you know of someone who is or has gone through this or something similar: 
-Don't ask them about their plans for future children
-Be mindful on Mother's day or Father's day (especially if they have no children yet)
-Make them feel good about their bodies.
-Remind them of the blessings they do have in their life.
-Continue to include them in things if they want to; don't assume!
-Be there for them when they need to cry and just listen. 

So that's what's new with me. I really needed to write that all down! I will finish with a letter to my little Jamie:

Dear Jamie,

I did not see you physically but I felt you. 

I know you were alive, but for a short time. 

Thank you for having me as your mother. 

I'm sorry you never got to grow bigger than a blueberry. 

I'm sorry the timing wasn't right. 

I know I will see you one day in heaven with God. 

I can't wait to know you fully. 

I want you to know that your daddy and I love you so much! 

We would have given you all the hugs you want.

I imagine that you are a girl but I never knew for sure. I never will know. 

It wouldn't matter though! We would love you no matter what!

You are my child, whom I love, with you I am well pleased. - words you never got to hear with your little ears. I am pleased with you! You have not done anything wrong! It is not your fault little one! 

You will always be in my heart and the apple of my eye! 

Love you forever and always,

Mummy